Faisal AKA Etlala's story

My name is Faisal AKA Etlala. I am non-binary and gay. I was born in Saudi Arabia, which is hell for LGBTQ+ people. I first came to the UK in 2019 and wanted to apply for asylum, but I didn’t know how. I was totally ignorant of the LGBTQI+ asylum process. I was in London and asked lots of people for help, but I was given bad advice. Sadly, I ended up in the hands of traffickers. I managed to get away and decided to go back to Saudi Arabia. 

But life was very difficult for me in Saudi, and I came back to the UK in November 2022. I liked being in London. I felt so free in Soho! I didn’t want to have the same problems as my first time here, so I started looking for advice. I had to be persistent and insistent, because when you don’t know how the system works it can be so hard to get help or to know who you can trust. It feels like you have no-one to turn to. I did lots of research, and I realised I could claim asylum on the basis of my sexual orientation or gender identity.  

“I was having lots of problems in the government hostels I was placed in… You have no freedom in these places, you feel so trapped, especially when you are LGBTQI+.”

I found out about Rainbow Migration and got in touch. I got referred to Ayesha, who told me how the asylum process works, and what I had to do. I finally felt like I was getting the right support. I was so relieved, especially when she put me in touch with a lawyer – she even came with me to visit them for the first time. I really appreciated it, I felt so much more comfortable with her there with me. 

However, I was having lots of problems in the government hostels I was placed in. Often, I was around people who made me feel very unwelcome. They were so rude to me, calling me names and always threatening me, telling me I was a bad person. I was so uncomfortable; I didn’t feel safe at all. Normally I try and be as happy as possible, but in the hostels, I felt so sad and lifeless. You have no freedom in these places, you feel so trapped, especially when you are LGBTQI+. 

Eventually the Home Office sent me to the Bibby Stockholm barge. It was hell; I felt so unsafe it was like being back in Saudi Arabia. At times like this, my experience in the UK has been just as difficult as my country of origin. Unfortunately, I have faced a lot of homophobia from other people seeking asylum. I was treated very badly on the Bibby Stockholm. At first, I had to share a room. Then after a few days I got to have my own room, which was better. I had some privacy, and good facilities. But everything else was awful. The staff were also so cruel, they treated all of us staying there very badly. They are always watching you, searching you, making you feel anxious. Once I went outside for some fresh air, and the staff made me take my jacket off. It was so cold, and I had nothing on underneath, and they laughed at me. The staff would say that people seeking asylum are only here on vacation. We were always being told to “go home”, they were always trying to get rid of us. It was horrible. 

Someone took their own life while I was there. There were police and ambulances everywhere. It was chaotic, and very scary. No-one would tell us what was going on and the staff ignored me when I asked them. I spoke to Ayesha at Rainbow Migration, and she confirmed what was going on. It was awful, it was terrifying. I was so anxious all the time.  

I was held on the Bibby Stockholm for two months. Afterwards I was sent to Manchester. Then I had two Home Office interviews. When I first came to the UK, they asked me lots of very invasive questions. It didn’t feel professional, but you must try to answer as best you can. I was very nervous to have another interview with them, but Ayesha and Rainbow Migration helped me through it. 

“I was granted refugee status in March 2024. I cried when I found out.”

I was granted refugee status in March 2024. I cried when I found out. I was so shocked. I knew that lots of the people I’d met on the Bibby Stockholm had been refused and removed from the country, and I was expecting the same to happen to me. I was so relieved.  

I am so happy to be able to stay in the UK. Yet life is still very challenging. It’s so hard to seek asylum – then it’s so hard to start your new life once you get granted refugee status. I can’t explain how difficult it is, especially when you are LGBTQI+.  

Accommodation is still a challenge. Throughout the whole process I have been moved around to lots of places which aren’t safe. Since I have been granted status, I have been homeless on several occasions, with no options for safe accommodation at all. The council haven’t taken me seriously, and I am still looking for the right place to live. LGBTQI+ migrants need to be made to feel safer in Home Office accommodation! It is very difficult to go through asylum and live in these places as a non-binary person.  

But I am happier and feel better in Manchester. I have a few friends who are supporting me, and it’s a good city to be queer. It’s an exciting place to be, and I am starting to build a life here. I am meeting people and making new friends. I am slowly beginning to feel more positive. I have started dreaming again. I would love to be a singer. Singing and performing is an escape, it makes me so happy, and being on stage really liberates me.   

I am excited for my future – I didn’t think I ever would be again. I have Rainbow Migration and Willkie Farr & Gallagher to thank for that. Without them I wouldn’t have got refugee status. Ayesha was with me every step of the way. I want to say thank you so much.